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"We seldom realize, for example that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society."
Alan W. Watts
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REACTING TO JOB STRESS
This is a story about a teacher who spoke on the subject of peace of mind. The short story illustrates that every one of us has the choice whether or not to take personal offense from another person's behavior.
On an occasion when the teacher was instructing a group of people, he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for some reason very angry.
The teacher listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the teacher said to the group and to the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?"
"The giver," said the group after a little thought. "Any fool can see that," added the angry stranger.
"Then it follows, does it not," said the teacher, "Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad feelings."
This is an enlightening story about looking at events in a different way and the realization that we do not have to make things worse by reacting to anger in our transactions with others. One who does not accept the anger or abuse cannot pass it along to anyone else.
Are you a Bargaining Unit Employee being subjected to improper counseling or abusive supervision? Visit the grievance page and let us help you pass along the enlightenment.
Coping with stress and stress affected disorders
